I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize