I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
