508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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