Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
