Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My vagina just recognized that song.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
