Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
