well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
