so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
