Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she told me i tasted like america
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
