is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
