turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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