Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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