So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
