dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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