You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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