I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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