So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
