Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
