Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
