think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."