New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We got so high we made milksteak
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
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Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say