Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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