Can i not drive my cunt home
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize