when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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