No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
