Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
