she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
