It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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