The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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