For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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