Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
