I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
