Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
