you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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