Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it glows. i had to have it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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