she was so not down for the gang bang
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My life is pants optional.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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