I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I look better un-naked...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
