At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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