I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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