I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
