O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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