bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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