My hand turned me down
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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