Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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