there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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