seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
