he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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