Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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