I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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