I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
