I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
