No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
