I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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