Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
