You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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