All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
