actually, I'm a sock model
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize