were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
