How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize