am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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