i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
